She speaks. Or rather, she writes.

So I’ve been sick.

And part of being sick is to be manja.. so
being unable to go to my favourite mamak for a cup of refreshing teh
halia.. I asked mom to make a cuppa for me.

But somewhere along the translation lines, I asked for garlic tea.

Garlic halia ginger bawang putih!

or is it Ginger halia garlic bawang putih?!??!?

Maybe
it’s not the language. Perhaps, like all other women who know their
garlic from ginger, all I need to do is spend a lil more time in the
kitchen…

…..
…
.

Nope. I’m gonna stick with blaming the government for teaching me Malay :p

I don’t usually have dreams, no sirree. At least not ones that I remember even after waking up.

Sunday night dream.

I was jogging the day before exams, at 630 pm, in my neighbouring taman
when 2 guys on a motorcycle attacked me from behind. I hit my head n
the skin on my arms were peeled off from all the fighting when they
tried to drag me into the bushes. Some other jogger came n scared them
away. I woke up.

Monday night dream

I was on my way to campus for the exams. Saw an accident happen, horror
of all horrors, it was my friend. I helped talk n keep my friend awake
until the bomba could get him out. Very bloody. Rushed to hospital.
Called my prof up n told him I’d be late for my paper. Called friend’s
parents, waited for them. Late for paper.

Tuesday morning dream, the nap I had before it’s time to wake up for exams.

I was in a hse in front of KLCC. KLCC was crashing (like the Highland
tower tragedy craching). I KNEW it was happening, but everything
happened in super slow motion, as you waited, KNOWING something bad was
happening, but not being able to do anything about it, but just.. WAIT
it out. The awful terror of knowing something bad was happening and
that I was going to probably die (KLCC falls on you, I’m pretty sure
you die. Not being a pessimist at all) I woke up before the super slow
falling KLCC hit me.

SO. What happened, you ask?

Well. I didn’t go jogging on monday, for one. No need to tempt fate.

Tuesday morning I do some last minute studying. Leave to campus for
exams at 1345. Drive shaft (The thing that connects n holds your tires
together) broke while I was driving. Lost control of car, and the slow
motion thingy comes to play. You KNOW something bad is happening. You
KNOW your safety is no longer something you can control, but dependant
on the skills and alertness of other drivers. You concentrate on not
hitting anything while getting your car to the side.

So it was ME in a near miss, with my friend helping ME instead of the
other way round. Called prof said I’d be late, and then waited for a
towtruck. True to the dream’s opposite happening, there was no blood.
My car was ok too. And it turns out I wasn’t late for my paper cus the
prof came even later.

Meanwhile I was at exams, my hsemate decides to walk out to buy food.
On the way back, ONE guy in a CAR waited for her by the pedestrian
bridge, followed by her while she walked. At the intersection into our
taman, he pulls up in FRONT of her and starts harassing her, insisting
she write her number down. She fights (verbally) back, but he still
lurks in the area, watching her walk. She goes to Uncle Teng, an uncle
she says hi to when she walks to the main road.

The only thing that was true from the dreams were the core concepts :
Horror of impending troubles, Calling prof cus I was gonna be late, and
the assault/ harrasment. Everything else was an interesting twist.

I’m glad that there was no blood involved, both in my case and my
hsemate’s case. And I’m trying not to read too much into what God is
trying to tell me. Last nite was a peaceful dreamless sleep. I feel
better, and although I still feel a twinge of apprehensiveness while
driving (paranoid it’ll happen again) I’m sure it’ll get better over
the week.

Thinking about the what-couldve-beens are scary tho.

Soon. Sooooooooonnn. A lil while to go.

Ever had a book screw you up so bad it gives you nightmares??

If
you answer no I suggest you take up Stephen King, that moron, brilliant
to the critics, is one step away from a mental destruction in my
opinion. I just read ‘Apt Pupil’ and ‘fucked me up’ doesn’t quite
explain the extent of the book’s horror content.

Nways. Not to spoil it for you potential nonbelievers on the
journey to fuck-me-upville, I’ll refrain from talking about the ending,
the part that screwed me up most (no surprise, King is famous for
horrific endings). But I’ll say one thing about him, if you need to
write an essay you should consider spending 2 hours just reading his
books, his flair for writing, as much as it horrifies me, I grudgingly
admit, is good. Omg I’m writing in long winding comma-ed sentences just
like him!

I know, I know, books are for geeks, and I risk tainting my
cool reputation by publishing this post, but by golly I’d go crazy if I
kept this bottled up! (The book, not the fact that I like reading!)

So now that the cat is out of the bag, tell me, what books have impacted YOU?

It
was the wedding we all looked forward to. No NO, not that sleazy guy
with that brainless chit.. This was one of us, my cousin, Shabana
Sajath who (thankfully) set the bar high.. Marrying at 30 :)

Saturday evening, after only 5 hours of nicotine deprivation, this is my brother..

Last ciggie- after early morning flight from Sarawak. Heheh

That night was the akad nikah ceremony, and this is me and my other couz

Apparently theme was blue.. So I was lucky.. (I almost went in orange!)

And this.. Ladies and gentleman, is the bride..

All silver.. We young ones aint liking the gold craze..

I missed the part where all hands were made up :(

The
family has always been diverged, multi cultural and multi lingual. And
this latest addition, Shamsul (formerly known as Herbert) , is an
Indian converted to Islam.

Shamsul aka Herbie waiting for the Kadi to arrive

Cousins and aunties yang "tak tahan panas" and seeked refuge in pengantin’s aircon room

Kadi
arrives (late!) and the normal proceedings go on, Shamsul made it on
the first go! Way to go! Then they exchange rings, makan, and we
proceed to our tradition.. the Pudding feed.

Obejective : All
family members feeds the groom so that the bride can introduce them to
him. It’s also a great time to bully your elders (at least for me they
were older) by feeding them HUGE pieces, as seen done by my sadistic
eye-doctor uncle :

Yessss,
poor Shamsul had to eat it.. Muahaha.. But before the feed uncles n
aunties oredi give angpow to them.. I guess the higher the angpow value
the greater the bullying ek

End of the
night. We have more traditions, where the sisters of the bride "steals"
the shoes of the groom(take em and hide em while that poor fella is
citing his lafaz nikah) and
then extorts money in return. I always like that part best, make money
instantly! And we’re NOT talking 5 or 10 ringgit babehhh..

Next
day. Early morning jump into the sea.. Wedding was in Sitiawan and we
stayed in Teluk Batik. After the swim, it’s time to become cheap (read:
freeee Hahah) labours and work that ass.. Clean tables (cus the actual
hired workers are just too slow) and give away goody bags. Pictures are
scarce, didn’t quite manage both volunteering and taking important
pictures.

In
Teluk Batik. Yesss that’s my mom. Yesssss I’m fatter than her. Yesss
she can pass of as my sister.. And yesss, I’m praying that I somehow
inherit her genes.

Me and Marisha before the lunch craze

The set

The food

   The bride and groom.

Reached KL at 2030 and headed back to Johore. Got there at about 130 am. Anyone interested in laddoos and barfis (if you don’t know what it is you don’t deserve em) come say hi to me :)

The drama begins.

Reach Murky Parit at 1030, freak out cus our door is wiiiddddeeee open. I remember locking it up weehhhhh… Oh what creature awaits its prey patiently…


[door wide open, lights from my headlights (it was pitch black!), neighbours kiasu don't leave porch lights on.]

Courtesy of one too much fun  during the
weekend, me neither salwa (both braindead) gave much thought of the
creatures and simply acted normal. (This is MY blog, I can pretend
bravery if I want to). Ok fine. I was scared shitless. Happy? Didn’t
find no creature, but then again we were too scared to look.

11 - 12 am.
First things first : INTERNET. Streamyx people were more efficient than usual so we got internet reconnected within the hour.

12 am.
Look around the house… The mess we left 2 weeks ago…

[Living room]

[Unidentifiable stains on kitchen floor]

[My fridge, ewwww ew ew ewwwwwww]

[The food rack.. ew ew ew ew ew ewwwwwww]

And for fear of being recognised and ridiculed in
public as "those girls with super creepy bedrooms", our bedroom
pictures are not gonna be here.

3 am
Exhausted. Watch football in a decidedly cleaner home. Stupid Zidane,
what a waste of bloody opportunity for France!


[Clean fridge]

[Food Rack]

[Living room]

Bathed between the time the game ended before the extra
time began. Almost died from the absofuckinglutely cold water, but
that’s another story.

So my life here begins. Hope someting fuckciting happens soon.

It had to happen.

Woke up early in excitement for my first final paper. Not as I pictured my first day of finals to be like. For starters, I get stomache movements even before I have to eat those cereals designed for elderly constipated adults. Well I’m young, my bowels might just be well trained.

Think again.

That was the first of the 10 or so trips I made this morning, in bouts of fitfull sleep. By noon, I was as limp as a rag that has been squeezed dry. Medication and thick tea seemed to help, but my sudden unwarranted dizziness was scaring me. So I forced some food down and went for my exams.

ANyone who has been through diarrohea knows the fear of venturing into public without first testing out your ‘control mechanism’. Imagine getting the awful feeling of wanting to fart, but not daring to, for fear it actually being a shart. (fart+shit) Then gas just builds up, to a point choosing to fart or not is no longer your prerogative. Then you take the gamble, and heaven help you if you lose.

Thank God for little blessings, like exams lasting for only 2 hours. And for Extra Long Overnight Pads.

Mentri Besar said: “You want more floods in the future or compensations? You have to choose either one, but cannot have both.”

Talk about stupid politic strategy.

I
mean, we ALL know, the government doesn’t really love us, or gives a
rat’s ass to what happens to its people. But the least they could do is
pretend.

Anybody who watched Samy Vellu’s explanation on wtf’s
wrong with the MRRII will know, politicians think they are smart, and
worse, they think they are smarter than the people they try to fool.
Apparently my MB thinks that too. His dodgy, sad and pathetic
explanation on wtf happened to cause the floods in TTDI Jaya was, well,
dodgy, sad and pathethic.

The first day of flooding they issued
a statement, citing the breaking of the Damansara dam as the main
reason of the flooding.. One month down the road.. they (me beloved MB)
change it and blame the nature, 100 cubic worth of rain as opposed to
the normal 60 cubic was apparently too much for the river to handle.
That and the combined forces of some Selat Melaka
wind. They retracted original statement, so now I’m not even sure the
dam breaking had anything to do with the flood in the first place.

Then he throws in what he thinks are bombastic words to help convince the rakyat  that
it was truly God’s fault, words like "sustainable development" and
"urban planning", and how Selangor will rise above all this in one
piece. That it will not help to be pointing fingers, but that we should
all work together to make sure this never happens again. And the
government has stepped up and is planning to spend 350 million towards realising that dream.

1. I find it offensive when one appparently plans a bandaraya, we make our river capacity exactly the amount of water we get annually. Then they allow development of more areas, clogging up more drainage
and still leave the river capacity as it was 20 frickin years ago.
After all, we can always blame God for the friggin rain. (Oh
motherfucker, it wasn’t even double our annual rate, wtf are engineers learning today??)

But it’s not like he can admit to closing his eye when they luluskan projek- projek perumahan baru. Or that the river was in fact, not as deep as it should have been. Kontraktor
kene jimat duit maaaa.. buat apa gali dalam2.. hujan 60 meter padu saja
maaa… and den duit sudah habis loorrr.. kasik suap itu badan, kasik
holide itu menteri..

2. The MB seems to forget, this is not the first time the floods have happened. Its just the worst in 10 years. Ten years ago, the government already promised what he is now promising. So he really shouldn’t take it personally if people feel the need to point fingers, all we want is some frickin accountability from the government we all pretend we love.

…and for them to stop thinking we’re dumb morons that believe everything they say.

I
choose compensation over fucking prevention. After all, if they make
the river capacity up to 100 cubic and God decides to shower us with
120 cubic worth of rain, we’ll be fucked anyway. Plus 10 years from
now, I doubt the next MB will remember all this drama.

Government, zin da bart!!! Or whatever the hell those Hindi movies scream out.

so i was at the MAP in DTI.. which was waaay too long and boring AND
had lousy food.. all was compensated by the special attention the
rector gave to me :)

nways.. was watching some crappy dikir
barat presentation, when i started reminisching.. my highschool chicks
were the champs in KL for dikir barat.. even when all people could say
was.. dikir barat is a MAN’S territory..

so what happen to us
girls?? we were great leaders, we were amazing performers, and by
golly, we were one smart clan! then.. the inevitable.. we join the real
world.. where men exist, and tell us we are no where near as good as
them..

why did we fall for it?

why, as time unfolded
itself, did we cease to be the powerful women we once were, and instead
alter who we are to fit into the prescribed role of women.. according
to the society?? nevermind other people, ME! I used to be a great
leader, id lead anytime and everytime, and i was good at it! id get
results, we’d flourish and at the end of the day, il get a medal
certifying my great leadership. ok maybe not all that simple, the mind does have selective memory for the history :)

nevetheless,
the point now is, i question every single move i make as a leader. how
come no one gets me? how come, whilst i can be the brains behind great
feats, it ultimately becomes a success IF and only if.. a man was in
charge. IF a man was dishing out orders, orders that I, me, me, me, me
think of??

it was like that in debates, it was VERY apparent in MPP, n sadly, it seems to be taking the same path in SIFE.

i think women need more reinforcement on who we are…

In the United States, one custom that totally caught my attention that I wish Malaysian would emulate would be the gift registers. Any person who will be receiving gifts, (be it for her birthday, engagement, bachelorette party or childbirth) will go to a store  and register items that she WANTS/ NEEDS. Then tell her friends where she registered and everyone gets her something ON THE LIST. Once an item is bought, its off the list. So the earlier you buy the more choices you have.

Things friends should see, especially friends that want to buy me things but just have no idea. Here are some guidelines

1. Perfumes~ I’m more of a floral/ fruity person, stay away from strong tangy smells
2. Body works/ stuff~ Body bath, scrub, butter, lotion, oil, and whatever rubbish women tend to put on is fine. Pay attention to smells though. No face stuff. He who gives me pimple cream shall see the end of daylight.
3. Jewellery (however you spell it). Necklaces are ok, but I’m not much of a bracelet person. Or angklet. Or tummy, tongue or lip studs. Any other kinds are appreciated, be it funky or girly. Try not to give one of Indian-ish look, I have grandma’s closet for that.
4. Makeup~ Tricky, not worth agonising over. But lipsticks and eyeshadows are a safe bet. Keep in mind what looks good on your fair spotless sister might not do the trick for me.
5. Room decorations/ trinkets ~ smell/ ionizer (or fertiliser* haha ummie don’t be mad) or candlesticks or watever rubbish one puts in a room to make it smell good is fine. Prefer soothing smells.
6. Hair stuff~ Don’t really see anyone giving me hair gel, but accecories are fine. Wigs are cool :)
7. Books~ Now this is tricky. Unless it’s a really really really good book that comes recommended from AVID readers, try and not get me one. General rule is stay away from famous authors, chances are I’ve read them or KUiTTHO librabry carries it. I hate classics and sci- fi.
8. Computer/ electronic/ electrical gadgets~ I’m not gonna list all that I don’t have/ wish to have, that’s something you’ve got to bet on. Toaters and ovens are fine (Haha), but really, I stay on my own in Johore. So I guess in some weird bizzare way it’ll be appreciated
9. ANything that makes life more comfy~ robes, fuzzy bedroom slippers, Musical Box.. Not gonna list anymore
10. Handmade/ self made cards, products and gestures

Things you might want to reconsider

1. Teddy bears. I’m the type that gets depressed if I don’t spend enough time with Fluffy, Browny, Panda and Elmo. Yes, I have enough teddies fighting for my attention :) Please don’t get me another, however cute.
2. CLothes. Shoes. It’ll be kinda hard for me to wear something that makes me look fat or pale or triangular or small. In the unlikely event you get something that is totally my size, you’ve got the material, colour, cutting…. you get the drift.
3. Pets~ I’m asmathic. I hate them. I’m sadistic. Do the maths
4. Little objects thingy that are for decorational purposes but generally one has no idea what to do or where to put them. I don’t like clutter
5. Picture frames~ Unless you’re like a total stranger and insist on getting me a gift
6. Sex toys. Unless it’s you I’m doing it with

I’m of course not implying I expect a present (Of course I am! Haha.. No, seriously, I am!… Not!) Just making shopping a wee bit easier now that people have a sense of what are my likes and dislikes..